A Tribute to Bobby Bilgrad

Marc Dahlman: Scattered Thoughts

We love and miss Bobby; I felt the moon and stars shift the tiniest bit to let him through.
1.      Bobby was Bobby.  Not Robert to me.  Not anyone else.  Bobby was Bobby.
2.      I would not have done well married to Bobby!  As a friend, he was the perfect friend.
3.      He had a connection with everyone he encountered, including Sherene (my wife); they even had a secret hand signal.
4.      In high school AZA, and all through Sammy in college, when it came time for the annual “formal”, every single year, Bobby stood up and made his annual motion: “I move that we not wear tuxedos”.  He always lost.
5.      Bobby was always the first up, as long as it was after 11:00am.  There was no reason for  pushing or shaming; it wouldn’t work.
6.      Bobby was always the last to arrive.  Same comment as above.
7.      Bobby was kind and accommodating to everyone.  Always.
8.      Bobby was excellent at keeping in touch.  Always.
9.      Bobby never complained.
10.    Bobby was a wonderful and consistent friend, for over 60 years in my case.

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Gary Price’s memories of Bobby Bilgrad

Bobby was memorably kind to me when, in 1960, I was a 15-year-old newcomer to New Orleans.  My family had moved from Roswell, NM to a one-year lease at Broadway and Sycamore shortly before the school year began.  Most of my classmates had long-established friendships among classmates when they started tenth grade, but I was a fresh arrival who spoke with a southwestern twang and knew only a senior who lived four doors away on Broadway.  Cluelessly following a member of my home room at lunch time into a roofed, open-air area behind the school, I was welcomed by Bobby.

Back in June 2015, in the aftermath of Fortier Class of 1963’s 70th-birthday reunion, Robert, Marc and Sherene Dahlman, and I had lunch at the Panola Street Café.  We realized then some overlap in the activities of Robert’s son Aaron and my daughter Alana.  Aaron, of whom Robert was very proud, produced Jewish videos.  Alana  was at that time the managing editor of Tikkun, a progressive Jewish and interfaith magazine that had been founded by Rabbi Michael Lerner in 1986.  Soon after we had returned to our respective homes, Robert emailed me a link to Aaron’s “Temple Sholom: An Innovative Jewish Experience” video, which he had made for Cincinnati’s Temple Sholom.  Shortly thereafter, he sent me a link to Aaron’s  “Austin Jewish Academy: the Movie.”  These and other videos by Aaron are brilliant, and watching them while preparing this reminiscence has been a delight.

Also discovering in 2015 my photographic interest and ever-growing collection of photos on Flickr, Robert generously visited it multiple times, occasionally surprising me with compliments of photos.  His generosity and community-mindedness was also evident in his service as a  volunteer gallery teacher at the Blanton Museum of Art on the University of Texas campus in Austin.

Back in October 2020, at the height of pandemic hunkering (and for me, therapy for stage-4 pancreatic cancer), Robert took the community-minded initiative to invite 15 of us to a Zoom session.

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Gilbert Bernstein

I have known Bobby Bilgrad for over seventy years. We became friends when we were five years old. Since our parents were friends, we saw and played with each other often. 

Many of you probably aren’t aware that Bobby was a good athlete. He loved kicking the football (particularly field goals and extra points). I was his holder. We also played baseball at the JCC. Bobby would always swing for the fences. He was quite successful. Bobby went on to play high school baseball.

Bobby never liked spending money to rent a tuxedo. He creatively solved that problem. He bought a white sport coat and black pants. It worked great.

I was lucky to have spent time with Bobby last November. Bobby enjoyed playing slot machines. Since I live in Denton. Texas, which is forty miles from the Oklahoma border, we met at the casino hotel and spent two days there. We had a wonderful time, and I cherish the memory.

It is hard to realize Bobby is gone. I will miss him greatly.

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Ellen Rae Webber Shalett

He was so kind. He taught me how to drive a car.

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Marvin Belasco

Bobby was “inclusive”. He put events together, gettogethers to include friends. He formed a golf group that included myself, Harlan and Hal Schiffman.

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Toby Trestman Mendler

Bobby was the president of Freed Goldberg AZA and the beau of Susan Frank BBG.

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Lana Goldberg

Bobby, (Robert as his wife called him), was a true and loyal, lifelong friend to me and my late husband.

I guess that was one of his superpowers-knowing how to be a good friend.

As a teenager Bobby was part of our AZA/BBG pack. A few of us kids partied and hung out together often.

Later Bobby and his wife, Davida, and my husband, (another of the AZA/BBG pack), and I wound up in Houston together as young married folks before Bobby’s move to the DC area.

Over the next 30 years, when Bobby visited Houston for business conferences, etc. he made time to stop by for a visit.

And when my sweet husband passed away, Bobby was one of the first of the old gang to call me with his condolences.  Over the years, being the kind soul he was, he’d call to check on me from time to time, and was proud to share videos his son Aaron produced, and more recently, share photos of another light of his life, his grandson, Roger.

Upon moving back to TX after retirement, Bobby found a new passion—painting!  We’d often share photos of our artwork for each other’s support and encouragement.

There was such joy in the colors he chose. How much he enjoyed the process showed through.  His paintings always seemed to smile. 

Although I have been a life-long student of producing art, Bobby taught me the most important thing about one’s art…He told me “When it’s finished, sign it and frame it.”

He only painted for a few years, but he was prolific.

When he lamented he’d run out of wall space in his condo, I suggested he hang them in the hall of his building and put up a sign “Hallway Gallery”. I think he got a lot of compliments. Just like him to bring smiles even after he’s gone.

You’ll really be missed.

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John Hickman

That was wonderful Hank. As most of us I will always have great memories of Bob. Unlike most of our class, I met Bob at McMain in the 9th grade, my first year in public school after 9 years in a Catholic school. Bob and I had Gym class together. One day playing football he told me to go long and he would throw it to me. To everyone’s surprise, including me, I caught it. Not to my ability but to his great throw!

Like everyone, I will miss seeing and talking to him at our reunions. 

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Hank Greenwald

May his memory be a blessing.

Bobby and I became friends at Fortier, in AZA, and playing baseball. Back then, we visited each other’s homes and met each other’s parents. He would come over to our house on Joseph St. and even my mother liked him, which tells you how sweet and polite he was.  I went to his house on Napoleon Avenue and remember his mother calling his name with an accent. Was it Yiddish?

Most recently, with a thoughtful suggestion from Lana Goldberg, Bobby summoned me to lead a fund raiser for a mutual friend in need.

We spoke often about his illness. I am thankful that I spoke to him about a week before he passed.

May his memory be a blessing.
Those of us who remember Bobby will keep his goodness alive.
We will do this by speaking his name.
We will do this by carrying on Bobby’s legacy of kindness.

Love to you all,

Hank

Thanks to:

Ellen Rae Webber Shalett, Gary Price, Gilbert Bernstein, Hal Schiffman, Jocelyn Weinberg, 
Ken Seelig, Lana Lubritz Goldberg, Larry Webber, Marvin Belasco, Phyllis Cohen Allison, 
Sandy Lassen, Toby Mendler